Celebration of Life Services

Many families today want a service which celebrates the life of their loved one. We introduce them to the concept of a celebration of life, and provide support in designing a celebration of life that is as unique as the life of their loved one.

We always enjoy working together with families in planning a celebration of life for their loved one. While it can be a challenge to put together an event that both pays tribute to and celebrates the life and spirit of a complex individual, it's also one of the most rewarding things any one of us can do for someone we've loved and lost.

Sarah York opens her beautifully-crafted book, Remembering Well, with the very personal story about how her family chose to pay tribute to her mother. "My mother died in April 1983... She didn't want a funeral. 'Get together and have a party,' she had said when the topic was allowed to come up." However, she was quick to tell readers that the survivors did not honor the request. "We needed the ritual. We needed to say good-bye, but we also needed a ritual that would honor her spirit and would be faithful to her values and beliefs."

When Ms. York acknowledges the position of her family—that they needed not a party but a ritual—she teaches us all something important: the celebration of life ceremonies we plan with families should be shaped as much by their own emotional and spiritual needs as their desire to celebrate the life lived.

Funerals vs. Celebration of Life Ceremonies

It's interesting; funerals and celebration of life services have much in common, yet they often appear very different. Each is a ceremony; a gathering of people who share a common loss. It's just that one is more rooted in tradition, while the other is the result of recent changes in social values. But both serve to do three things:
  1. Help the bereaved family, and their community, publicly acknowledge the death of one of their own
  2. Support the grieving family by surrounding them with caring friends, co-workers, and neighbors
  3. Move the deceased from one social status to another
Yet they achieve those things in very different ways. First, let's take a closer look at what most of us commonly see as very traditional funerals.

The Funeral

It's not surprising funerals have been around for a very long time. Composed of three activities, the visitation, the funeral service, and the committal service, performed at the graveside; this funeral is the one we'd easily recognize from contemporary literature and film.

  • The Visitation. Held prior to the funeral, often the night before but sometimes on the same day, the visitation (or viewing) is a time when people come to support the family and, more importantly, pay their respects to the deceased. This often involves stepping up to the casket to view the body; either in the company of a member of the surviving family or on your own.
  • The Funeral Service. Commonly held in the funeral home or church, the traditional funeral service is led by an officiant of one kind or another; most commonly a pastor or the funeral director. This individual follows a very predictable funeral order of service which includes the singing of hymns; and invocations, Bible recitations, Scripture readings, and prayers led by the officiant.
  • The Committal Service. This takes place at the cemetery, after a slow and respectful automobile procession from the place where the funeral was held. The committal service ends when the casketed remains are lowered into the ground, and final prayers are said.
If you'd like to know more about the history of funerals in the United States, you may like to visit the website of the National Museum of Funeral History. But for now, it's enough to know that a funeral service traditionally has these three distinct components. Now let's look at a celebration of life service.

So, What is a Celebration of Life Service?

Author Barbara Kingsolver, in her book The Poisonwood Bible, wrote “To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know.” We think this reflection is at the heart of a celebration of life. While a funeral, as we've described it above, has more to do with the orderly and often spiritually-defined, a celebration-of-life is more concerned with telling the story of the deceased. Celebration of life ceremonies are just that: a time people come together more to celebrate the unique personality and achievements of the deceased than to merely witness or mark the change in their social status.

Celebration of life ceremonies are similar to memorial services, which can be described as a hybrid event: combining the flexibility of a celebration of life with many of the activities of a traditional funeral order-of-service.

There's more room for creativity in a celebration of life service than a funeral. Since celebrations of life are commonly held after the individual's physical remains have been cared for through burial or cremation, there is much more time available to plan the event. And without doubt, this allows you to make better decisions about how you'd like to celebrate the life of someone you dearly loved.

While celebrations of life services are not burdened by social expectations—they can be pretty much anything you want them to be—it's important to realize that the event you're planning should meet the emotional needs of the guests. So, think about exactly who will be there, and what they're likely to want or need. Then, bring in those unique lifestyle and personality characteristics of the deceased; perhaps add live music or refreshments, and you've got the beginnings of a remarkable celebration of life.

How to Plan a Celebration of Life

A celebration of life is a joyous ceremony where friends and family come together to celebrate a life well lived. If you’ve never had to plan one before, you’re likely here because you’re wondering, how to plan a celebration of life. Planning a celebration of life doesn’t have to be difficult. Our experienced and caring funeral home staff can help you plan a service that showcases your loved one’s unique personality. The service can be simple and elegant or big and bold, the choice is up to you.

Every life is unique, and we believe it should be celebrated as such. Together our staff will take a personalized approach and help tailor a service that is one of a kind. To help get you started with brainstorming ideas, check out our planning a celebration of life checklist to learn more.

Planning a Celebration of Life Checklist

Setting a Budget

Before you can begin planning a celebration of life, it’s important to talk with your family and come to a consensus on a budget. Once you know what you are able to spend, you can begin to look at how you want to honor your loved one and what the celebration of life will include.

Where, and when, should the event take place?

This is where the planning really begins. Before you decide on a date for the celebration of life, make sure to find out any scheduling conflicts your family might have. This is especially important if family members live far away and you need to make travel arrangements to get there.

Who will lead the event?

Although a celebration of life is often more casual than a funeral service, it’s still a good idea to decide who will lead the event. If your loved one was religious, you may want to invite their local religious leader. Some families will choose to hire a non-denominational celebrant to oversee the event.

What activities will take place?

If you want to make the celebration of life special and unique, consider organizing an activity for guests to take part in. The activity could be as simple as a craft station for guests to create a keepsake to take home or as elaborate as a fireworks display. For celebration of life ideas for groups, check out some idea suggestions below.

Food and beverages to serve

Food and drinks are an important part of any event. Food brings people together and can create opportunities for guests to share memories with one another. Some families serve hors d’oeuvres and others will host a meal. In either case, think about some of your loved one’s favorite food and drinks and try to serve them during the event.

What audio and visuals will be included?

Technology can play an important role in honoring a loved one and paying tribute to them. Memorial videos, slideshows, and music playlists can help create a warm atmosphere of remembrance. If you want to include this special touch, talk to your funeral director about your technology needs and consider the following questions: 
  • What audio/visual equipment is needed? 
  • What pictures, videos, and other content do you want to display? 
  • How will these choices help honor the deceased and celebrate their life? 

Who will speak at the event?

At some point during almost every celebration of life, there will be an opportunity for someone to say a few words. These can be more formal speeches like a eulogy or just a simple toast to the deceased and thanking guests for coming. Next, it’s important to decide who will have the opportunity to speak. Will there be prepared speeches or an open floor for guests to share stories and memories if they wish? Below are some questions to consider when selecting your speakers:
  • Will the service be formal or informal? 
  • Do you want to leave the floor open for guests to speak? 
  • What family members or friends do you think would like to say something? 
  • Do you want to include readings or prayers? 

Mementos and keepsakes

If you want to show your appreciation, consider buying or creating some small personal keepsakes for guests to take home. It could be as simple as a packet of memorial seeds to plant in a garden or as personal as hand written notes from the family thanking guests for coming. In either case, having something for guests to take home with them shows that your family is thankful that they chose to come and provides guests with a physical item to help honor the deceased’s memory.

Send out invitations

Last but certainly not least, it’s time to create a guest list and send out invitations. Once you know the where and when, you can start putting a guest list together. Think of everyone that would want to be there and add them to the list. Once you’re ready to send out invitations, you might want to ask guests to RSVP. Doing so will help you make sure you have enough food, drinks, and keepsakes for the celebration of life.

Celebration of Life Ideas

Create a Time Capsule

A great way to help the family long after the service has ended is to create a time capsule of memories. For this idea, invite guests to bring small items like photographs, cards, books, letters, and other little mementos. As guests add their item into the capsule, they can share the memory with everyone in attendance. Afterwards, your family can choose to bury the capsule or lock it away. On the first anniversary of the deceased’s passing, your family can open the memory capsule and revisit all the memories that were shared.

Host a Potluck

If your loved one loved to cook or enjoyed trying new foods, consider hosting a potluck. Create a list of your loved one’s favorite dishes and invite guests to sign up to bring them. Not only will you be serving the food your loved one enjoyed, guests can feel a greater connection to the deceased and that they were a part of the celebration.

Scatter the Remains

If your loved one has been cremated, you may want to consider planning an ash scattering ceremony during the celebration of life. There are many ways to do this from scattering remains in a garden to releasing them in a body of water. Whatever you decide to do, make sure to check with the funeral director and local authorities about any laws or regulations surrounding ash scattering.

Are You Undecided? Turn to Us.

We've got years of experience listening, brainstorming, and advising families how they can best pay tribute to a beloved family member. That means we're the perfect people to help you decide between a funeral and a celebration of life service. We'll explore your options with you in detail, taking all the time you need.

In the book Chocolat, by Joanne Harris, you'll find this fundamental truth: “Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even its end.”  As funeral professionals we help families express reverence for life. Let us do that for your family. Call our funeral home to speak with a member of our staff.
Sources: 
  1. Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible 
  2. Joanne Harris, Chocolat
  3. Sara York, Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life & Mourning Death